Ah...okay. I got that first bit out of my system. I let loose the juice; Now I can loosen my anus.

Now I wanna talk about the raw power of the new and improved Turbonegro. Am I fucking glad that I jumped on the sexiest bandwagon to swing its fine denim-swathed ass through my town. I gave in to the musky animal lure of this magic-carnival-ride of sheer rock'n'mayhem....and I haven't been the same ever since! Why do I see Turbo everywhere now? Even Lucinda Williams (whoever the fuck she is) looks like Euroboy!!

Okay, so I've really got the Turbo bug in my ass, and I can't sit still. I've been up late at night scavenging the internet for any bits of Turbo history, live footage, recordings...anything to satisfy my hungry little Turbojugend soul. Pouring over any articles I could find, I started piecing together the history of the Denim Dudes.

The internet is a great way to school my square ass. When I was growing up on music, we had to scrape and scrounge, searching for cool stuff/bands. We got turned onto music from our buddies making us cassette tapes. Or from nicking 45's from the local shops. Tweaking out really bad radios and trying to find obscure college rock channels which you could never properly get good reception. It was a survival-of-the-fittest situation---you got turned onto shit IF you were lucky enough to get hip to scenes in other towns/countries. A lot of times you'd get turned onto shit LONG AFTER it was all over.

It amazes me as to how easily one can look up obscure info on the net these days and get whatever you want. But yeah, it's cool too. We are living in this information age...

But anyway, back to TURBONEGRO!

The first Turbo albums I heard were Never Is Forever (classic!), and Darkness Forever (Live '98), which prompted me too buy the amazing Ass Cobra and Apocalypse Dudes. As a live album goes, I love the raw grittiness of Darkness Forever, which had frequent plays on the turn table. I would listen to these albums and have moments of banging my head on the floor, wishing that Turbo didn't break up. And why hadn't I been cool enough to know about them before? We would watch the hell out of the Turbo movie, clinging on to the butt-hairs of the band...listening to bootleg recordings and cracking up at Hank's charming stage humor.

It was always sad to read about Turbo calling it quits in '98, as well as the demons that troubled Hank. As I listened to the albums and absorbed the over-sized rocking power of Turbonegro, I kept asking myself---why did they break up right at the height of greatness? So many interviewers and fans felt the same way. I continued my research. It seems like they've always had their ups and downs, but apparently things had started getting really strained for Turbonegro, and they finally decided to call it quits...

Meanwhile, the dark forces were gathering, things were stirring---Turbojugend everywhere continued banding together and growing. Like little minions, always in operation right under the nose of society...Turbo-Fever was spreading like a stealthy wildfire...

Then Turbo got the offer last year to get back together and play some festivals in Europe. Hank had been away at the Lofoten Islands, which look beautiful, rugged and proud. A bit like Turbonegro!! Seems Hank had been getting himself into good shape: physically, mentally and spiritually...

I like to imagine the emotions that must have been present at the return of Turbonegro, as they were about to enter the stage at their very first Res-Erection festival show at Hultsfred. Well I'll tell you one thing, you can fucking HEAR it---the power and joy of the Reunion with Darkness in these recordings. I bet every single Turbonegro felt alive again onsatge, as well as those lucky enough to be there in the audience. I am thanking my lucky brown stars that I had the fortune to see them play in '03 in America.

The band is tighter than ever before, and Hank is right fucking on! He is in great shape; he looks and sounds incredible. He is the Dark Dude, and Turbonegro are the Ministers of Deathpunk. Just check out the great live photography from the recent US tour. It doesn't get any darker and sexier than the sweat, denim, and guitars. And Hank looks fuckin' regal in his denim cape, top-hat and cane! The band looks great. I saw pictures of the Denim Dudes in a power-circle before the first comeback show at Hultsfred...their hands put together in the middle of the tight and warm circle of brotherhood. That is some strong magic power right there! Like Lazarus from the shit, shedding it all off---It must have been a great day for Hank and Turbonegro, the Day of Res-ERECTION!!!

So I found on the internet some live recordings from this tour: The Quart festival, as well as Hultsfred and Bizarre. I was amazed at how accurately these live recordings capture the magic and the energy of the Turbonegro experience. I witnessed the greatness for myself at 2 shows here in the US. As much as I liked Darkness Forever, the newer recordings from the Res-Erection of Turbonegro were astonishingly better---they really blew my ass away!!! I hadn't felt this way since Marginal Man and Bad Brains rocked my teenaged ass at shows here in DC...or Black Flag busted out my cheap speakers (I never got to see them live.) I would return from these shows giddy and feeling young and alive...There was a power and unity at these shows, and that's what I feel seeing Turbonegro. The whole audience chanting in unison, the voices from our communal throat merging with the full and dirty electric sound of Turbo hitting us in the face, as well as all that hot denim and leather simmering onstage. I'll never forget Hank's gyrating crotch in my face for all of 10 minutes in New York...or Pal's sexy looks as he flirts with the bitchy and spreadable Euroboy, or Happy Tom's rock-solid build and bass-playing, Rune's grinding guitar carrying me, Chris's hip-thrusting drum cracks......The energy of this amazing band as they kicked out the jams, the vocal trade-offs, the noodling, the deathpunk......Turbo's live energy has become a finely honed creature; a predator coming for your balls and for your daughters!!!

Now I realize something. It was important for Turbonegro to break up. I think the guys had to get away from the power to realize how great it was. There was also suffering to be shed---Turbonegro needed to burn in the cinders of hell and rise again like the glorious Phoenix.

No matter how varied the sounds Turbo has had over the years, the same valorous spirit has always been there. But now it's darker and stronger than ever! So I'll end this by saying that it's fucking amazing to bear witness to what is going on RIGHT NOW with Turbonegro. They are in Full Force, swingin' the Deathpunk Machine into Full Tilt and ready to bowl over the world! So hold on to your butt-cheeks folks---When Turbonegro returns to the US this fall, they will spank our asses with their fine Scandinavian Leather---and we will be eagerly waiting... Turbonegro will never die!!!

*The Strange Stain* -2003