Are you ready for the Golden Age of post-modern metal? Are you ready for some darkness? Turbonegro are, and they'd be more than happy to slide a wide load of it up your darkness. The best homo-erotic metal band since Judas Priest, this notorious Oslo, Norway sextet camp it up village style in their matching black-denim sailor outfits -- while dictator/vocalist Hank Von Helvete goes for the Alice Cooper ghoul/droog look -- but there's nothing pansy division about Turbonegro's ferocious assault. Actually, this Nineties version of Seventies metal owes as much to Black Flag as it does AC/DC, these self-proclaimed "Mighty Masters of Ass" dubbing their onslaught "Black Glam." Thing is, no glam rock band ever opened its domestic debut and fourth full-length overall with an ode to pizza. From there, the titles ride the Les Pauls, "Self Destructo Bust," "Get It On," and "Don't Say Motherfucker, Motherfucker" romping with cartoonish metal glee, until something's not quite right. "Rock Against Ass," "Rendezvous With Anus." Whoa! These are men's men, and that's no sock in those leather chaps! Take "Prince of the Rodeo": "Rhinestones, homo rock & roll, buns of steel -- Geronimo"! After cruising for da Ramones in "Back to Dungaree High," Turbonegro finally come out and ask all good men, "Are You Ready (For Some Darkness)." With the bulge these Apocalypse Dudes will leave you with, the answer is yes. Oh, God -- yes!

3 stars -- Raoul Hernandez