There are two kinds of cool. First, we have conventional cool -- the preening, pouting and posturing that's more show biz than rock 'n' roll. Say what you like about the Rat Pack, Elvis and the Strokes, but this affected cool has as much to do with their schtick as anything else. On the other hand, there's outsider cool. Groucho cool, Jerry Lee Lewis cool, Ramones cool -- with an open heart, a sense of humor and, rather than studied indifference, a true fuck-it-all attitude.

By these standards, the members of Oslo, Norway's Turbonegro are just about the coolest people in the solar system. And when Chris Summers granted this interview he unknowingly, or not, made this interviewer cool for a day.

So hush, earthling and read on...

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TJUSA: How did you come to be in turbonegro?

CS: I knew Tom, Knut & Rune from before and I had been hanging quite a lot with Rune the last couple of years before I joined. One day in jan. or feb. '97 he called me up and said they needed a drummer and asked me if I was interrested. I was.

TJUSA: Do you still 'dabble in the real estate business'?

CS: Quit that. Took up basketball again, though, the ultimate negro sport. I'm good.

TJUSA: When did you start playing drums?

CS: When I was thirteen, I think. Fifteen years ago.

TJUSA: Your brother plays bass in The Team Spirit, another great band from Oslo, do you guys ever jam together?

CS: Sure thing we jam together cause Matt also plays bass in Euroboys. And he's a fucking genius! He has an incredible understanding of all kinds of music and he plays like a motherfucker.

TJUSA: Didn't your dad own a record label or recording studio?

CS: He's been working in different record companies for over thirty years, but he started he's own company, S2 Records, about five years ago.

TJUSA: Do you come from a musical family?

CS: Apart from me and my brother the only musician in the family is my grandfather who plays the accordion and violin. But both our parents work in record companies, so we grew up with tons of records around the house (I stole my copies of 'Route Zero' and 'Turboloid' from my dad) and hung out at shows since we were babies.

TJUSA: Does your family support you and your 'homo-rock-n-roll' band?

CS: My parents are so fucking liberal that they were actually dissapointed when they found out I wasn't a fag afterall and that Turbo was not a homo-band. But they are cool about it now and they support me 100%.

TJUSA: What other bands have you been in?

CS: A lot of different bands when I was a kid, then I started Big Bang with Żystein Greni in '92, joined Turbo in '97. After Turbo broke up I've been playing percussion for Euroboys and I was, for a short while, in a band called Oslo Motherfuckers together with Tom.

TJUSA: Why did you leave Big Bang?

CS: I continued to play with BigBang for about 6 months after I joined Turbo, but things weren't working out so well between me and Żystein at the time and it was a lot more inspiring playing with Turbo. I decided to quit after our US-tour in '97.

TJUSA: How are things going with the new Euroboys record?

CS: It's going great! We've got a lot of beautiful music on tape, I can tell you.

TJUSA: Do you use the same set up in both turbo and euroboys?

CS: Nope, with Euroboys my Ludwigs are replaced by bongos and congas, tamburines and maraccas etc. Anders plays the drum-kit.

TJUSA: Were you surprised by the response the band received during the festival shows?

CS: Not at all, cause we've probably never sounded better and rawer than we did this summer. What did surprise me a bit was seeing so many really young kids with sailor caps and Turbo shirts, kids that were maybe five years old when we released Apocalypse Dudes. That was cool.

TJUSA: How was playing during the day at Bizarre?

CS: The show was really good and the crowd was huge. Too bad we had to play in the afternoon when it was still light outside, but what the fuck. That gave me more time to get my back massaged by a german fag backstage before we headed home.

TJUSA: You guys were playing extra loud at some shows, do you think you'll be deaf by the age of 30?

CS: I've been playing really loud for 15 years without earplugs and my hearing is still not damaged, so I'm not really worried about that.

TJUSA: When are you going to get a computer so you don't have to go to those 'internet cafe's' where all the sophistos hang out?

CS: Soon as I can afford it. But I'm never at home anyways, so it's really no point having one there.

TJUSA: Do you think Norway will ever celebrate their biggest gross national product by introducing 'Turbonegro Day'?

CS: No, and I'm not very sorry about it.

TJUSA: In a single word describe the rest of turbonegro (individually) ?

CS: Genius (that goes for every member of the band)

TJUSA: Are the chicks really starting to flock now that the negro is back?

CS: The chicks flock, but that has little to do with me being a Turbonegro and a lot to do with the fact that I'm very good looking and quite cool too. Maybe it has something to do with that negro in my pants too.

TJUSA: Some girls might find the idea of approaching a rock star such as yourself a bit unnerving. What advice can you give them that might help ease the tensions before striking up a conversation with you?

CS: Look very, very good.

- The chicks will really dig this next part brotha!

Single/married/dating:

CS: Got girlfriend.

Ambitions:

CS: First of all to make a killer new album and tour it. And to continue looking great and being a great guy.

Turn ons:

CS: Watching my girlfriend kick some motherfucker's ass while I'm sitting in the bar enjoying my drink.That always makes me wanna take her home and make love to her.

Turn offs:

CS: When I'm having sex and listening to the "Midnight Cowboy" soundtrack while doin it, then that whacky tune called "Florida Fantasy" comes on (from the scene in the movie where Dustin Hofmann is dreaming about hustling old people in Florida). That can be a real turn off.

Ideal girl:

CS: Extremely good looking, smart and funny brunette with a great body and not too big tits, who kicks ass in bed and can keep up with my drinking.

Favorite book:

CS: "Ask The Dust" by John Fante

Favorite movie:

CS: "Beyond The Valley Of The Dolls" (the soundtrack is awesome!) or "Selskapsresan".

Favorite quote:

CS: 'I don't collect records, I collect ALCOHOLE IN MY BODY.' (H. Tom)

Favorite web site:

CS: The Onion dot com